Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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