She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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