I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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