i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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