my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
