I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
