bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
