And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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