Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
