just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
