Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
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