i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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