dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize