I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
