Even the bartender felt bad for me
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
