the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
