You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Sorry about my life...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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