Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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