Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
