the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
im six kinds of drunk right now
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
