I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
