my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
