Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
