I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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