Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
