i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
