# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
FUCK WHALES
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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