if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
