I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You can't motorboat a personality
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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