When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
