If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
