My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
