that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Walk of Shame today included voting.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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