Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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