Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
