He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
