The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
try to milk me bitch
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
