He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
why didn't you poke me back
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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