I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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