Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize