Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
