Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize