Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
