Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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