I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
