but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
