had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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