I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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