Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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