Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
