just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
