dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
