Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
