I'm pants shitting drunk right now
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
