I'm really into asian looking animals
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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