Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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