oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
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The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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