forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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