i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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