oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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